that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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