How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
