This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
