I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
