I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
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