Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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