at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
