Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
