We won't sleep together?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
