Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
