you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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