We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
