I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
