I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
