I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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