Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
