Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
