I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
