we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
