I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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