I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
