whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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