i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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