I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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