if you like me you must not know who I am
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
