I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
