So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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