Jerry, you need to find god
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
