Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
