you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
