Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize