Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize