i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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