Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
