she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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