I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
