that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Randomize
