I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
