mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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