I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
honey bunches of taint.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just forgot I was standing up.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
