talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
