tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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