I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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