do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
