Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
