no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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