Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
