evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
