I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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