But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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