I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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