And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize