They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
