Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
