Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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