They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
