you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
