Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter

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(704): View more from North Carolina

You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job

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(845): View more from New York

We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?

(1-845): View more from New York

Who won mens moguls?

(845): View more from New York

That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.

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(765): View more from Indiana

i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring

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(716): View more from New York

its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.

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