Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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