It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
