soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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