The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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