her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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