he told me I talked like a deaf person
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
